Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Can we live without expectations?

Let me begin by narrating the story of my first cousin.I have always called him by the name of  'Da nao' with respect,so will refer him in this name only .

Long time back Da nao used to love a girl.I was of the opinion that the girl also loved him that much because they were so close to each other.Da nao is not from a well-off family. His dad worked in garage and his mom is a plain housewife. Infact, many people from his locality were surprised to see him doing good in his studies and even completing his masters degree in Physics. His girlfriend's economic condition was not very different either,being raised up by her widowed mother.

He loved his sweetheart so much that he used to earn wages side by side with his education by giving private tuitions  and engaging in social work, just for the sole purpose that she could pursue her education. After finishing school, she decided that she would choose nursing as her career path and so left her hometown with the same aspiration. Da nao managed all her education requirements and they even use to mail each other often. Everything looked so set for them.

After three long years when she finished her graduation she came back home and we went to meet her. During that time I was enjoying my summer vacation back home after my 2nd semester got over. They looked in love just as it was three years ago. The next day ,as if the armageddon had arrived ,news came that she eloped with someone else. For Da nao his world was falling apart in front of his own eyes. They were together for seven long years.A few silent moments went by and then he looked at me and said "Boi!!"    " Would you get your two wheeler ?"   " I need to attend to some previous commitment."

We went straight to Sekmai, i knew what was coming next. This is the place where the local wines are made,as pure as you can get. That night, he was so drunk ,i thought he will die of over dose and this was from a man who never tasted wine before. For the record,  I didn't drink that day. A few days later, we went to the girl's home and in rage, Da nao demanded the money he had spent on her education.It wasn't much some 70,000 bucks. Tears were rolling down from her mother's eye.I didn't know what to do except watch like a statue.


One year had passed.It was time for summer vacations for me again.I came to know that the bridegroom party had offered her a post in RIMS and she took it.Da nao never mentioned anything about her. But one fine afternoon ,we heard the news that her first child died in delivery. Da nao threw a chicken party the very same night but I didn't go . We had a difference of opinion and since we have not met eye to eye with each other but that episode was the beginning of his never ending unfortunate incidents.

My purpose is not to discuss whatever morals  the story might have told.I want to bring into light how weak our mind gets when bonded by the shackles of aspirations. Aspiration maybe of materialistic ,emotional or metaphysical in nature.I am not saying that one should not aspire or should give up the fruits earned by a man's worth. Its not possible to lead a practical way of life in today's world without any desire or dreams. But when we falter its possible we are not in control of our lives anymore.If you have an eye on the fruits of your actions, you are liable to be affected by worry, anxiety and restlessness.I don't know what the greater truth is , if there is one but I do know we are ignorant enough to be influenced by the darker reflections of ourselves.In my opinion , the mind is the birthplace of every one of our worries, anxieties or restlessness. People have faced this and survived but is life all about surviving or does the true knowledge about life hidden somewhere else?

12 comments:

Rojit said...

When I first watched the film "The pursuit of HappYness," the next thing i did was to watch it again..Finally when i stopped, i asked to myself what if Chris Gardner didn't get that job.
My point is... he would try hard again and again to get a much better job because his EXPECTATIONS came with a very great confidence. And whether you have bad lucks coming as invited guests, you still have to work hard..!!

But, dude... love is another thing and of all the world specially in MANIPUR. No matter how long ur relationship is, how much love u have etc etc... it doesn't matter. All it takes is one small unlucky incident.

keep up the good works, dude..!!

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

sorry but we cant always look at life through rose tinted glasses , what happened to da nao was sad , but maybe that girl didnt really love him in the first place , she only wanted the money & then maybe she fell in real love . anyway baby ne to kuch nahi bigada tha :(

chgautam said...

Let me put it this way..... u expect some thing......possibilities are that you'll succeed...and also that you'll fail!! The higher your expectations the harder will be your fall,ie if you do fall, at the same time the lesser will be the magnitude of joy of success, ie if u succeed....I say this cause unexpected success brings in the most unexpected JOY.......So the best way to enjoy life is perhaps to not expect anything out of it!!! ... Thats the safest way bro!!

michael said...

hrd tht once...bad thing do hapns in life...felt sory for tht guy..."da nao"

jamzz said...

yeah you guys are all right in one sense.
Probably I have also narrated Michael what happen after that.

Sushant said...

was tht a real story? i cant believe a girl wud do tht...ofcourse people can justify such things with all the true love crap. but what she did was wrong...I wud hv thrown a chicken party too, if i was in his place

jamzz said...

This is as real as you can get. He tried to move on but it seems like a curse, the agony would follow him everywhere.

tanushree said...

ds ws 1 sad story....1 reality bite.....,it gv me shivers......,.

LOVE s synonymous 2 GOD......,its sad dat sm ppl hv rilly mastered da art f playin wid scha butiful gift s love.....,dey say v shd nt HURT da HEART dat loves us...


n s da BIBLE says.......
"love s patient,love s kind....,"

del said...

it was really sad of what happen to da nao.but i was js wondering if the girl also had her own reason for her action.perhaps she was under pressure.i am not trying to defend of what she did but m just trying to see from her perspective as well.
but i felt bad about celebrating the baby's death.she, in any case must be suffering because of the lost. such action makes me think about 'unconditional love' if such thing really exist.is 'love' also another of 'give and take' relationship? doesn't it mean loving the person js as he/she as is and being happy in his/her happiness?

jamzz said...

The world has corrupted our minds and even love. I don't think any human being could remain the same after undergoing such tragedies.
The notion of unconditional love has changed for our generation and maybe even for the future generations.
People can always try to glorify love by saying its all about giving but frankly speaking, I have never seen any good endings for one-sided love. We eventually succumb to the wants.

Deepa said...

james... I am sort of getting an inspiration from your story... at one point of time in my life.. i did experienced the same thing your cousin had experienced.. back then i was too young so i did move on though i vowed never to make any commitments in future ever again.. today i find myself standing at the same juncture and i am at a loss..

ankush said...

Well! I must say the narration was not up to the mark.
I am sure next time you would do a better job.

:)