Monday, February 23, 2009


Finally the plane landed in Delhi. I lost sense of time because hours of solitary travel can consume a person with all forms of thoughts. But I realized I was not aware of all those reasonings anymore, almost like an anachronism. It was not detachment, I felt, neither salvation. I had no premonitions about what's going to happen next. But I sensed something was going to change my life forever. It was going to be big and I better be ready for it.

As I waited for my luggage standing besides the airport conveyor belt, I felt my past memories relived and refreshed. My father's words suddenly sounded like bells tolling.
"The purpose of life is not chasing down every academic high."
"Success can also be measured in terms of having a pleasant and rewarding home life. These people develop their identities based upon the accomplishments of their children, and derive their self worth through the love and support of a spouse."
I barely heard all those words back then. I would give my only argument -
"A man is not defined by his family. I would rather climb that ladder as much as I can because I heard the view gets better as we go higher."
" No matter how high you climb there will always be some one above you .",he would retaliate.

His words made more sense to me now after four years and after shouldering the weight of three failed relationships. I wished things were different. I wished I hadn't dismissed his ideology totally. I wished I discovered the balance of career and love for myself.

As I moved my luggage, I had not been more hopeful than that day. It was time to redeem myself. I could see them waving from a distant view. Unanticipatedly, there was a ruckus in the crowd. The security persons were all around and every entrance gate closed and I was trapped in my own world in front of my eyes. I lost consciousness and bliss when it was only some yards away. I heard a beeping noise. It was my pager with the message- conference starts in 45 mins.

I was back in New York. Back to my beleaguered apartment. It all happened in another world, maybe in my sub-conscience. But I have to live with the fact that I had no contact with them for the last four years and its very unlikely I would so. I didn't have the sagacity to understand everything but I knew destination conference room was not an option.

P.S: I wanted to write something on -when love and career heads for a collision course. I ended up writing a story. There is always another excitement of narrating as a first person.


Sushant said...

it is gud to write in first person ... but sometimes people forget that its fiction that u r writing when u write in first person
And life comes before career or love

Shantanu said...

You have been tagged! Answer the questions and pass the Tag to fellow bloggers.

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?
2. What does your phone look like?
3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
4. What is your current desktop picture?
5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
6. What do you want more than anything right now?
7. Are your parents still together?
8. Last person who made you cry?
9. What is your favorite perfume/cologne ?
10. What are you listening to?
11. Do you get scared of the dark?
12. Do you like pain killers?
13. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
14. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
15. Who was the last person who made you mad?
16. Who was the last person who made you smile?
17. Is someone in love with you?


sushma said...

you know i completely forgot for a moment that i was reading a story...its actually very realistic, because this is something very common i see everywhere...people get so involved in their job/career..they tend to forget their personal lives..they dont forget actually but somehow at some point of time,it becomes kinda difficult to maintain a balance between career and personal lives...very few can make it...and for some its too late when they realise it...i met my manager's wife at a party and the first and last comment she made was 'never ever marry a guy who's into software'... :D
anyways, good post.

rosila said... some point of life many people tend to give their first priority to their career n it's very natural being human...but then a successful career cant make a successful life if u r all alone to enjoy da fruits of dat career...u ultimately need da love n support of ur family...n dude, u r lucky dat u hv realized dis fact early...sometimes some people take years to realise it...

Rojit said...

nice post.. as i told u about the CHOICE... u would be proud of me..lolz...!!
keep up..!!

james said...

Nice to see all your views.Well I am not much of a guru- who has lots of wisdom. I am not too sure myself what decision I will make in future but I just love writing.
Lets hope they are not mutually exclusive cases.
And shantanu I will write about your tag soon

wanglen said...

its a very refreshing n very much appealing story......i thought as if i dont knw this james at all....its something very new....4rm ur side...and i really look forward to see more love....all full of tentions...hahaha

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

:) all the while i kept on thinking " this guy looks so young , and he is already attending conferences!!"

I don't have much of an expertise on the matter , but yes we are given choices everywhere and in most cases its b/n love and career.

ps :i sorta changed my mind and have tagged ( do it if u feel like :) )

james said...

lol. But I rather not be in his shoes.
And Subratta there is so much of me that I don't understand but your friend still hasn't changed all these years.

Surely I will do your tag amrita :)