MY TESTAMENT

I woke up to the sound of screams and moans of pain and distress. As I slowly regained my consciousness I turned myself slowly, still lying in the bed, to see a room filled with wounded and disabled people incapacitated by the war. I could smell the stench of the antiseptic and taste the sweat running down my cheek. It didn't long to realize that my legs had been amputated, it wasn't beyond my ken. The ground underneath me had shattered and it had taken my legs with them. I was told soldiers would not be judged in wars. The judgment came in the form of a landmine.

Now that I am through with the war, I can only ponder over my abilities to discern the right from the wrong. I have killed men. Did I kill them because they call God by a different name or because their noses were shorter than ours? I don't want to know the answer. Religion has brainwashed me and I have become thoughtless obeying the commands of our so called leaders. Why did I leave to God to take every one of my decisions? Regardless to whether he exits or not, regardless of whether I am capable of being righteous or not, I should have been able to see what is wrong. I don't find any comfort in ruminating over these rationale, its not aesthetic.

I hear a priest recite the verses of the bible nearby. “.....Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand......” What an irony? When everything is already finished I am not able to stand.

As I recover my strength, I ask the nurse for a notebook and a pen so that I could pen down some of my thoughts. She tells me today is June 18. I was born on this day 22 years ago. That day was supposed to give me the meaning of life. Its a shame that its meaningless now.

Eclipse

He lowered his blood tainted sword to welcome the end of the war. But what awaited him was a disturbing silence. The sun was shining bright over a thousand corpses. It was not the light of glory but something painted in the color of pain and misery. He felt a thousand souls were trapped in a tornado somewhere, and it was leaving behind a path of destruction. With what logic would you castigate someone who killed a man as a murderer and at the same breath venerate another who killed hundreds as a warrior?He didn't seem to comprehend.

As he strolled over the pile of dead bodies, the light of the sun was fading. He looked up the sky to see the sun being engulfed in darkness. Its the day of the black sun. Its a metamorphosis ,an alchemy, something that will transport from the known to the unknown realm, in a way similar to what he was experiencing from inside. He could feel the power of the transition that almost burned his eyes. How he wished his eyes got similar powers. That he could only look into something heinous and burn them in dark flames but he would probably burn himself too. Its the darkest day over the land and the only thing he did was wait.

As darkness thoroughly consumed the land, he vaguely saw the figure of a boy. He walked towards him. The boy murmured," If wars are going to continue this way, I will become God himself."

25 things you should know about me

I was supposed to do this tag along time ago. I should clarify first that I am doing not out of compulsion nor out of lack of material. But, it would actually be interesting to see if I can put together an honest interpretation of myself and translate it without any refinement. Some of these details might already be known and I am not going to write whether I belong to a different planet or not :)

The rules -
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

1. I love dozing in green pastures(esp. when the contour of the land is slightly elevated), fold my hands and locked it behind my head, indulge myself in a world created by illusions. In other words I am a dreamer. People say some are realist some are dreamers. I guess you can categorized me in the latter genre.

2. I am still aimless about what my goals are. I tend to think goals in life as being different from career choice or tasting success.

3. I always dream about traveling the world, know about different people and their cultures.

4. I like people who have a good taste in food.(literally and figuratively speaking)

5. Once, I jumped down from the first floor because the elders started suspecting me and my friends were upto something (they were right though). This happened only a week after the plasters in my leg were removed.

6. I am very bad in planning. I seldom do it.

7. I love the company of gals.(not in the other sense) :P

8.The Ace of Spades is my favorite card. If possible, I keep it for my last play.

9. I despise astrologers.

10. I love cooking for myself.

11. I am in pursuit of expanding my collection of documentaries on rock bands histories .

12. Learning the meaning of people's names is one of my idiosyncrasies. Don't be alarmed if I ask yours too. 'Anagha' which means sinless is one of the favorite I came across.

13. Topics on God, religion , life, death,time, rock and roll are ice breakers when it comes to starting a conversation with me.

14. I am also an 'aspirational hobbyist' which Shantanu coined it. I wanted to become a fighter after watching Tony Jaa, an actor after getting awestruck by every one of Tom Hanks' performances, a sportsperson during the world cup days, wanted to be in a band everytime I hear an Iron Maiden's number.

15. I regretted the fact that I don't have enough pictures of my childhood days.

16. I have always admired people who are good in writing but not necessarily so for those who are good in talking.

17.I really don't like smoking but I have tried it.

18. I am a comic follower till this day. I even have a list of my own top 10 favorite comics.

19. I don't like heavy make-up in gals.

20.I have bunked classes the most on mondays and fridays and very rarely on saturdays. Maybe its because I was born on a saturday(I know the logic sounds absurb).

21.Whenever I get bored in a particular class, I used to entertain myself by calculating the love-hate relationship percentage of every gal I knew, on the last page of my notebook.

22. I am habituated to give people petnames.(esp. to the ones close to me)

23.If I ever have a son, I would want him to grow up to be a sportsperson.

24.Black is my favorite color when it comes to the choice of color in clothes.

25.I am a devoted 'window shopaholic' and I have no qualms about it.


Thats all. On the hindsight I think I could have listed a few more. I tag this to
Shantanu
Ankit
Rojit
Michael

THE SYSTEM HAS FAILED- A METAPHOR

As I slowly released the clutch from my hand, the instincts took over. There is kinship in the dynamics of the rider and his machine. But the machine is just another means to an end. Although I was committed to follow the rules of the road , the impediments existing in the circumstances never favored my liking. Embracing the wrong side of the lane seemed like a pretty easy decision. I had the zeal to face the perils and eulogize myself as a rider in the storm.

The fervor was slowly curbed by the fear of the uncertainty of misfortune. There were myriads of riders from the other direction, riders like me but it doesn't make a difference to them if my life was worth more than that of an insect. I lamented every blinking second for being on the wrong side of the lane and reaching my destination seemed like a shot in the dark. I survived the predicament inconceivably. If the vehicle or my skills had failed me, it would have been fateful. Would every decision I take be venomous? How many times can a man survive on erroneously ill-planned decision? If I were a free man, I would rather be in chains for a free man doesn't follow any particular direction.

As I disembarked ,I was taken aback by a startling revelation. The road signs were pointing to the same direction as I was following and everyone else was in defiance.